If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
