I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
