I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
