Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
