If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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