dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
