Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize