Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
