Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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