How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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