it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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