No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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