Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
