Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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