I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
