Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize