epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
