I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
