i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
