I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
