it was like his penis was on wheels.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
