his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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