around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
