THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What a dumb baby whore.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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