I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
