You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize