But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
