How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize