are you so shy because you have an std?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
