yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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