If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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