I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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