please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
