I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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