Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
