omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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