I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
