I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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