she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
