Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
