Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
