Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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