Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
