i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
