What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
