I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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