She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
