I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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