no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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