I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize