i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
