I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
