Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You ruined the universe
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
