I puked a lego.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
