Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
