Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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