This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize