I accidentally had phone sex last night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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