community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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