Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
