Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
