just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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