She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
