she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I fill condoms, not promises.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
