I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
