Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
