no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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