I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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